Fate & Coincidences: A College Retrospective

How did I get here?

You know, it’s such a deep question, if you really want it to be. It can be taken in many different ways – a query about humanity, evolution, religion, or existentialism, for example. Honestly, thinking about it too long is liable to make my head hurt.

For me, though, it’s really a question about my place in life. Not just where I am – rather, all the occurrences, near-misses and coincidences in my life that have led to the people I’ve come to know, the things I’ve come to learn, and my current place in life. It’s like the question Lenny posed to Guy just before their performance on the Showcase in “That Thing You Do” – basking in awe of the journey that led them to that one amazing moment.

Looking back at my life three years ago, and looking at it now … it’s the same thing. How DID I get here?

Sounds sentimental, right? Well, that’s because, simply put … it is. I just can’t help thinking a series of fateful coincidences has shaped who I am, who I know, and who I’ve come to love as brothers and sisters. And, I realize that I’ve probably told these stories hundreds of times to my friends, but, I figured I’d put it in writing this time.

I mean, rewind back to the Spring of 2005. I was about to finish my three-year tenure with community college, and I had just been accepted to Cal Poly SLO to finish out my undergrad studies. I had come back from San Luis Obispo and, at the time, decided that, 100%, I was going to Cal Poly in the Fall. I was literally one second away from locking in my intent to register, when something just stopped me. Call it intuition, call it karmic interference, call it fate – but something made me stop what I was doing, call up my brother and ask him whether or not I should wait for the other schools to get back to me.

“Are you freaking serious?!!” I remember Hermes telling me. At least, that’s what I remember him telling me. “At least wait for UCD to get back to you!!”

And, so I did. Turns out I only had to wait a couple days to find out that Davis accepted me. I just can’t help but think how different my life would be had I not had that moment of hesitation … had I committed to Cal Poly. I know I never would have met the friends I made that first year at Davis … Brett, Stauffer, Coker, Ziv, Steve, Pranita, Dave, Yazmin, Naomi, Adri … just crazy.

Fast-forward to November 2005. I was so pre-occupied with keeping up good grades with my classes, I didn’t even realize that I was supposed to register for Winter 2006 classes … in October. When it finally dawned on me (with the help of reminders from my dorm mates), I had already missed out on the Sociology classes I needed. So, what was left? A history class I didn’t need, an Evolutionary Biology class that I didn’t realize was an Evolutionary Biology class , and a lower-division social statistics class that simply remind me how to use Statistics. It was a crazy, stupid situation that I got myself into … and probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

I say this for a couple reasons. First of all, had I not screwed up my registration, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to excel in something I had joined the previous quarter – the Sacramento Opera’s “Turandot”, with Mia. I’ll be honest – it was one of those experiences that falls into your lap maybe once in a lifetime. And, had it not been for the fact that my academic schedule, at that point, was mighty flexible, I don’t think I could have pulled it off.

Second – and, I think, more importantly – I never would have done a class I have come to love, and consider a large part of my life at UC Davis. The truth was, because I had a shortage of passable units that quarter, I was scrambling to find any class I could coast through for credit. One night, I asked my dorm mate, Steve, if he could recommend anything I could take.

“Well,” he told me, “I’m going to a class tonight, and it seems pretty cool.”

“Well, what is it?” I asked.

“Gospel Choir.”

So, I went. And, after the first rehearsal, I never left until I graduated. All the friends I’ve made in Gospel Choir – Angela, Ashley, Crys, Moon, Lauren, Frankie, Andrew, Joneric, Vince, Juan and Kerri, just to name a few – are ones I’ve been thankful to have in my life.

Then, there was someone in particular that came into my life that wouldn’t have otherwise, if not for a random moment of initiating conversation … it was one day while I was in Gospel Choir. It was just the two of us in the room, as far as I can remember. I noticed her sitting there, as I have before. She seemed nice, and I decided, for no other reason than to break the silence in the room, to ask her how she was.

“So, Danielle … how’s it goin’?”

Her response? Well, I’ll let her tell you if you’re interested.

Ultimately, it was the catalyst for a partnership in our music classes, which grew into something great. I consider Danielle one of my very best friends, and am thankful to have her in my life. Honestly, if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t know half of the good friends I know. I can’t help but think that, had I not said anything that night … I dunno. It was another one of those fateful coincidences, I guess.

Now, whatever you may think about fate, coincidences, karma, whatever you want to call it … I gotta say, we experience it every day of our lives, and you sort of take for granted how the littlest decisions, twists and turns in your life can affect it so profoundly. I can tell stories for days about times I ran into people from the past I never would have run into had I not made a seemingly insignificant decision to be at that place at that time. Again, it may not be a big deal to you … but I can’t help seeing the greater picture of things.

And, as I begin a new chapter in my life, I’ll still find myself asking the same question, and just smile on the inside.

How did I get here?